Unrestrained Confinement
by amandalou
Summary: After Michael's death, Lincoln is haunted by the ghosts of his past. However, when he has to reopen the wound, the ghosts of his brother's tragic end returns.


_Title: Unrestrained Confinement_

_Rating: PG-13_

_Summery: Lincoln is still haunted by the ghosts. So far, he has been able to ignore them. But when a task of remembering the past comes before him, the ghosts have a way of resurfacing._

_Spoilers: Not really_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Prison Break, the characters and stories belong to FOX. I am only a victim of complete obsession._

_Authors note: This is my first fanfic on Prison Breakand my first fanfic ever, so no flames and be kind!_

_Thanks: My thanks go to Demented Insane Spirit for editing my story._

X

Lincoln Burrows walked into his small apartment after a long two hour counseling session that, although was recommended, didn't assist in lifting any grief off of his shoulders. He fixed himself dinner, watched TV and drank a bear. All throughout his life, Lincoln had promised not to become an alcoholic like his father. But right now the only thing that relieved the screaming voices was the burn of the alcohol. Lincoln was trying not to think about what he had to do, but after he ran out of things to make him look busy, he walked into his small office. He pulled a plastic bag out of the closet and from it produced a black, leather journal. It was brand new and even though it felt good in his hands, he still had an unusual fear of it. It was a journal, nothing to be afraid of, but it would be in this journal that he would have to remember everything, everything he had tried so hard to forget. He sat at his desk and picked up a pen. He placed the tip of the pen on the paper, struggling to write, but he knew that in order to write, he would have to remember. He sat there for ten minutes, unable to move, finally he put the pen down and climbed into bed.

Lincoln woke up four hours later. He was screaming, and his body was shaking violently. This manner in which he woke up was not strange to him. Every night he woke up the same way, a recurring nightmare that felt so real, he often thought that he was there. After he had controlled his breathing, he slowly pulled himself out of bed and walked into his office. He had to remember, it had to be the only way to get these nightmares to stop. He had seen every doctor in Seattle, and yet no amount pf consoling would make it go away. The memory was often too much for him to handle. He picked up his pen and with a large amount of effort, he began to writhe it down.

_October 5th_

_It was on this day that everything was coming together, the plans, the preparation, everything. I had a hard time keeping myself calm. I had resigned myself to the fact that my last days would be spent at FoxRiver. But then Michael came and gave me the only thing anyone could ask for right before they die: hope. At first, I didn't believe him, "How are you planning on breaking out of a high security person?" I asked him. He would always say, "Don't worry, I have the whole thing under control." Even after his constant assurance, I still could not believe him. But in the end, I knew it. We were getting out of here. That day would be my last at FoxRiver, and I would never look back, no matter what. All the time, I just kept on asking myself, why? Why was my brother, who I had abounded so many years ago, why was helping me. From day one, he was right at me side. He didn't even think twice, when I told him I was innocent, he believed me. He didn't ask questions, didn't even have much time to look at the evidence. I said I was innocent and because of his devotion to me, he believed me. I did nothing to deserve his loyalty, God knows, I was about the worst role model in the world, but that didn't stop him from getting himself thrown into jail. He lost everything for me, his job, his friends, his apartment, everything. The funny thing was that I didn't even ask him for giving everything up for me. He was my hero._

Lincoln dropped the pen, and put his head in his hands. He tried hard to control it, but the tears came all the same. This is what he didn't want to do. Remembering all these things only made him more miserable. He didn't want to remember, he wanted to forget. Forget everything. But deep down inside, he knew he never would.

X

Lincoln had just come home from work. He worked at a lumber yard, which, believe it or not, was a great job. He was a manager and made a good living from it. Lincoln never for one second thought that he would have that job if it weren't for Michael. Michael had always been a good example for him. That was more then likely the only way he had kept a job for so long. Lincoln sat in his office for a minute, just staring at his pen. For some reason something as easy as picking up a pen was nearly impossible when you had to think about the past. With great effort he picked up the pen and started writing from where he left off.

_October 5th (continued)_

_Michael's plan appeared to be flawless. The escape route would be through an old sewer line thatheaded west into the city. When it was time to work, I would go back with him and Sucre to their cell and escape in broad daylight. The guards would look for about ten minutes before finding the hole in Michael's cell, but by then it would be too late, we would be far gone. The look on Michael's face that day was enough to melt even the hardest criminal's heart. When the time came, I followed Michael back to his cell and waited until lights out was called before sneaking out through the hole. I didn't ask where Abruzzi was, I had just assumed that he would not be coming with us. When we got to the entrance to sewer line, I was rather disappointed to see him standing there waiting. It was a rushed race against time but before we entered the wall, Michael pulled us aside to briefly explained the plan. It was clear, we were to run through the old sewer line until we reached the old access vent, which was about five miles from FoxRiver. After that we were to run to a air field about two miles away from that and board a plain that would take us a mere ten miles away. From there we would part and Michael and I were going to a safe house that had fake passports and air plane tickets there to get us out of the country. I was ecstatic and could hardly contain my excitement. We entered the tunnel and ran to the access port. Everything was going great and I was sure we were free men. I was clearly mistaken._

Lincoln sat for a moment, thinking about that night which was so long ago, but felt like it was only yesterday. Even now, when he was proven innocent and in no danger of going back, jumped when ever her heard police sirens. He knew they weren't coming for him but a place deep inside him had always made him feel like running. Lincoln was startled when he heard a soft tapping at his door. He quickly put the journal in the drawer and walked to the door. When he opened the door he was greeted by Veronica's smile. Veronica immediately saw the look on his face and came in to try and comfort him. He fell asleep in her arms, glad to have a distraction from remembering.

When Lincoln next woke up, it was dark and at first he didn't know where he was. Then he remembered Veronica and was careful not to stir her sleeping form next to him when he got up. He walked into his office and pulled the black journal from his desk dower. He picked up the pen and started writing.

_October 5th (continued again)_

_We reached the entry port and Michael slowly pushed open the hatch, carefully looking around to see if the coast was clear. He gave us a hand signal and we all began climbing up the ladder. I swear I had never been so happy to climb out of a sewer. When we got up we all ran into an ally. We were all trying to hide our happiness, and Michael kept on telling us not to get our hopes up. We weren't free yet. We all had a smile on our face, even Abruzzi couldn't hide it. Suddenly the ally was dancing with lights and there were sirens blaring. We had been caught. We all took off in different directions, Abruzzi went backwards, Sucre went to our right and Michael and I went to the left. Wouldn't you know that the cop would chase us. It was a signal cop and I knew that if push came to shove, Michael and I could take him. Michael and I kept on running through ally and I was afraid that we would get lost. But Michael acted like he knew exactly where he was going, so I followed. The cop was fast on our heels and I knew that if we staled for even a second, we would be done for. Then it happened, to this day, I have always had a clear image of it in my head. The police officer pulled a gun and fired a signal shoat. I saw the whole thing in slow motion, and before I knew it, Michael dropped on the ground in front of me._

Lincoln stopped, feeling anger rising inside of him and though he tried not to, he screamed and threw the contents of the desk onto the floor. Veronica rushed into the room and ran to hug him but he pushed her off and went into his room and locked the door. Veronica was knocking on the door trying to get him to let her in, but he ignored her voice and sat on his bed weeping. Eventually when he had calmed down enough he let her in. He didn't say anything just sat on his bed. She walked over and started rubbing his shoulders. She said something like, you want to talk about it, but Lincoln hardly listened to her. He laid down and she laid down with him and placed her arms around him. He tried not to admit it, but it felt good just to let someone hold him. When he woke up again, he was alone.

X

Lincoln was done; he just couldn't take it any more. In fact today, he was going to march up to his psychiatrist and inform him that he would no longer be writing in that blasted journal. The nightmares had been getting worse since he had been remembering, and he couldn't take it any more. When he got to his appointment, his psychiatrist had a different idea. He said it was completely normal to have more nightmares when you remember things that you would rather not, given the choice. But it would eventually go away if he went through with the journal. Needless to say, by the time Lincoln got back home he wasn't feeling an ounce better. He walked into his apartment and threw his keys on the counter. He slowly walked into his office knowing that this was it. The ending of his and Michael's story.

_Even though it was in slow motion, it seemed to happen in a second. I rushed to Michael's side and immediately saw the blood. It was pooling around him and I couldn't stop it. Suddenly, I was pushed away from him. There was a cop above me telling me not to resist. I struggled underneath him, as he tried in vain to handcuff me. All of a sudden, I saw Sucre from the corner of my eye and before I knew it he was on top of the cop, pulling him off of me. As soon as the cop was pulled off of me I rushed to Michael's side. He was already deathly pale, and a gasp escaped my mouth when I saw the gapping wound on his side. I kept on telling him to just stay with me, not to let go. I kept on repeating the words that in my hysteria, made no sense. His body was shaking and I knew he was going into shock. 'Stay with us Michael,' I thought, even though his eyes were open, they were staring at nothing. Sucre had pulled a knife out and had stabbed the police officer. There was blood all over him by the time he came over to me, saying that we had to get out of there before more cops came. I knew it wasn't a good idea to move Michael, but if he didn't get to a doctor soon, he would bleed to death. Sucre was saying something in the background but I was too shocked over Michael to hear him. Sucre grabbed Michael under the arms and pulled him up to rest on his shoulders. A moan came from Michael's lips. 'What the fuck are you doing, he can't be moved!' I all but screamed at Sucre. _

_'If we don't get him to a doctor, he will die!' I knew Sucre had a point, but when he said 'die' I nearly lost it. Michael couldn't die, he couldn't. After everything that had happened, everything he had done, this was not the way it was going to end. I helped Sucre carry him for a couple blocks. He hadn't said anything and I had to keep checking to make sure that he was breathing. _

_'Don't do this Michael, don't let go,' I rapidly said. The only response Michael gave me was a slight groan. I heard Michael's weak voice break through Sucre's and my heavy breathing. _

_"Put me down Lincoln," Michael whispered almost inaudibly. Sucre and I carefully lowered him to the ground and I almost fainted when I saw the blood covering my shirt. My hands began to shake and my body was trembling. I quickly snapped back to reality and cradled Michael's head in my lap, Sucre was on the other side of him, looking very pale himself. _

_"I'm here Michael, I'm here." No response came from Michael "It's alright Michael, you're going to be alright, just stay with us." Michael's eyes came open and he met my eyes and didn't look away. "Good job buddy, you just stay with me okay, I can't lose you. Who would keep me out of trouble" Michael's lips curved up to almost shape a smile. _

_"You have to promise me something Linc." I grabbed his hand. _

_"Now don't you go and be saying you're goodbyes, not now, not ever." Michael's eyes flittered a little bit and I knew he was close to passing out. He eyes held mine when he continued. _

_"You have to tell LJ sorry for me okay. Tell him I'm sorry for being put in jail. Try to explain it to him." I couldn't take it. _

_"NO Michael, you are not going anywhere, you can tell him yourself!" Michael's eyes closed for a moment, and I thought I had lost him. "Michael? Michael, no. No, no, no. Do not do this to me!" I gently shook his hand, trying desperately to wake him. "MICHAEL!" I shouted. His eyes fluttered open. _

_"Tell Veronica that this wasn't her fault, tell her that she could never get a better man then you. And tell her…." Michael's eyes closed again. _

_"Michael? Come back!" Michael's eyes met mine for one last time. _

_"Lincoln, I don't want you to be mad at yourself for this." At this point the tears that had been falling down my cheeks were falling freely on his chest. _

_"Michael, how can you say that, I left you. You shouldn't even be here. Why did you come for me, why?" Michaels eyes lit up for a moment. _

_"Because I love you." With that Michael closed his eyes. He never opened them again. After that, I don't remember much, except for my delirious screams. Sucre told me that a transport that Michael had set up arrived and drove us to the airfield where we boarded a plain for Spain. The next couple of days after that, everything was a blur for me. Sucre stayed by my side till I was proven innocent and able to come back to the US. After I left, Sucre some how managed to sneak back into America. He married Maricruz and had a son with her. About thirteen months later, Sucre was shot and killed after one of his 'friends' betrayed him. He was not going back to FoxRiver alive. After Sucre died, the onlyones who were there for me was my son LJ andVeronica.theywere the only thing holding me together._

Lincoln looked up from his writing and wiped his face off where his tears had fallen. Even though this had happened almost two years ago, he still remembered every detail, every frown line that crossed Michaels face, every pebble that he had ran on in their grave escape. Was it two years ago? He can still see the blood on his shirt, Michael's pale face, Michaels unwavering grin when he said his final goodbye. No, it had to be just yesterday. After taking a deep breath Lincoln closed the journal and placed the pen on the desk. He had failed Michael. He failed him when he left, failed him when he was still there, and failed him the night of the escape. He was not going to fail him again, his brother deserved more. His brother who had always been the smart one, the loving one, the enduring one. He was Lincoln's hero. Lincoln looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was almost two in the morning. Not caring about the time, Lincoln picked up his cell phone and dialed his son's number. After a couple rings, LJ's voice sleepily come on the phone.

"Hello." Lincoln smiled at his son's voice. "I'm sorry to wake you LJ, I just wanted to talk." There was a long silence. "Dad, its two-thirty in the morning, I have exams in the morning." A feeling of pride came through Lincoln. He was proud that his son had followed Michael's footsteps and went to college, even though it was half-way across the country.

"I'm sorry to wake you, I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I'll never forget you." There was silence.

"Dad, is Veronica there?" he asked in concern.

"No, but don't worry about me, okay? You just get some rest. I love you." Before LJ could say anything, Lincoln hung up. Lincoln then dialed Veronica's number. She immediately picked up her phone. She always did when she saw it was him.

"Hello." Lincoln stayed quiet. "Lincoln? Lincoln, what's wrong?" Lincoln's eyes started to tear up.

"Veronica, do you think he knew?" There was a pause.

"Knew what?" Lincoln's tears began to fall freely.

"Knew how much I loved him?" Veronica's response came quickly.

"Of course he did." Lincoln's body started shaking with tears.

"Did you know that when it happened, I never got a chance to tell him?" Veronica paused again.

"I'm sorry Lincoln, that's hard. But I know for a fact that Michael knew that you loved him and - " Lincoln interrupted.

"How can you say that? I failed him!" Veronica remained quiet for a minute.

"Lincoln, I'm coming over, you shouldn't be alone." Lincoln insanely laughed.

"Why? Because you're worried I'm going to hurt myself? Is that it?" Lincoln heard a car start in the background.

"No, I didn't until you just said that." Her tone was soft, but worried.

"You don't need to worry about me any more, I won't be a thorn on your side!" Lincoln was to the point of shouting.

"Lincoln, you need to stop, you are not a thorn. I care about you. And right now you need to calm down. Okay?" she almost sounded desperate.

"I'm not going to fail him again!" Lincoln clicked off the cell phone. He grabbed a picture that was on his desk of Michael's graduation. Lincoln's walls were covered with every picture of Michael that could be found, but this one was the one that he was most proud to look at. He grabbed the pen off the desk and wrote on the back of it. He then opened the bottom dower and pulled a loaded pistol from it. He kept it for protection, and almost laughed out loud when he thought about how it was going to be the thing to take his life. He had always thought that he would die at the end of a police's gun. Ironic, wasn't it? His own gun would be ending his life. He placed the gun to his head...

"When the police found his body, he had this photograph grasped in his hands." Veronica looked over at LJ. LJ was not like his father, he could not hide emotions. He was crying softly and so emotionally distraught that he was not paying attention, so Veronicatook the photo from the police officerand tears that she thought had all but dried up, began to fall. It was Michael's graduation picture. She saw blood on it and slowly turned it around, she began to sob when she read the words on the back. 'I'll never fail him again'

Finish

Amandalou


End file.
